Kirby Scum and Lending Vultures. Ho Ho Ho.

[Seeker630]

I am posting this as a result of a conversation I'm involved in elsewhere on the internet, but thought it would be good to have a thread here about it, rather than derail that other one.

When I met my X wife many years ago, she was employed working in collections for Household Finance Corporation. For those of you not familiar with that outfit, it had the reputation for being little more than a legalized firm of loan sharks. They specialized in very high interest, predatory type loans aimed at the elderly, very young people with limited life experience, and low income households. High risk customers often easy targets for scam artists.

That was the first time I had ever heard of Kirby vacuum cleaners. My X had to actually make repossession calls at households where they had fallen behind on their payments for whatever it was that they had bought, not realizing that they had signed a one-way contract for problems and misery. She didn't stay with Household for very long---understandably. They were not a good outfit to work for in many ways.

For those of you not familiar with Kirby vacuum cleaners, they advertise them as the best machine of it's kind anywhere. And they are about the most expensive vacuums on the planet. They can easily cost 10 times what you'd pay to just walk into Sears, J.C. Penny's, or Target to get a decent one. One of the most common repo calls the X had to make was for these chrome-moly beasts, because people had fallen behind on their payments.

Then there's the predatory high pressure sales tactics (did I mention deception?) to get the vulnerable to spend money they usually can't afford for a piece of junk they don't need. I mean these fuckers make used car salesmen break out into a cold sweat.

And all this around Christmas, when a lot of people are already cash strapped and more vulnerable even than usual. Pretty good timing eh? Read some of the stories I found at a consumer website that catalogs problems with the Kirby company and the bottom-feeding, blood sucking scum they use to finance their sales-----------The letters are all fairly recent------------

http://www.consumeraffairs.com/in_home/kirby.htm

[BeaverIslander]

Never, EVER, invite a salesperson into your home. It's like inviting a vampire.

[Little One-Eyed Wench]

Holy cow! I couldn't believe some of those letters.

So far I've never had anyone from Kirby come to my door. Now I know not to let them in under any circumstances.

What surprised me is how many people let themselves be bullied into not only letting the sales people in, but into buying the product.

[homo hirsutus]

I remember one of these guys coming to our house when I was a kid. My dad told him to go wait in his car while they talked over whether they should buy it (it was about twenty degrees out). Then we went to bed. I wonder how long the guy waited before he left. It's too bad more people can't see through their BS.

[Deacon Doubtmonger]

Originally Posted by Seeker630

For those of you not familiar with Kirby vacuum cleaners, they advertise them as the best machine of it's kind anywhere. And they are about the most expensive vacuums on the planet. They can easily cost 10 times what you'd pay to just walk into Sears, J.C. Penny's, or Target to get a decent one.

But no other vacuum comes with a turbo-powered hair clipper attachment! (No joke -- back in my dumb, stupid college days I considered working for Kirby, and I actually saw this in their orientation film!)

Originally Posted by Seeker630

Then there's the predatory high pressure sales tactics (did I mention deception?) to get the vulnerable to spend money they usually can't afford for a piece of junk they don't need.

Deceptive? Predatory? How can they be deceptive and predatory??? Their principal spokesscum was once America's best-known fundy athlete, the Dallas Cowboys' Roger Staubach! (Again, no joke! How can a Christ-i-yannnn-uh be anything but honest???)

Originally Posted by Seeker630

I mean these fuckers make used car salesmen break out into a cold sweat.

Ever attend an orientation for Cutco Knives? I did -- easily the most aggressive mouth I've ever heard. This guy could have scared off Fred Phelps!

Originally Posted by Seeker630

And all this around Christmas, when a lot of people are already cash strapped and more vulnerable even than usual. Pretty good timing eh?

Then I should warn everyone here -- stay away from Capital One and Discover credit cards. What's in your wallet? A Writ of Continuing Garnishment if you don't pay as agreed! That is, they'll sue your employer for a chunk of your paycheck! (It's too long a story as to how I know this, but be assured I don't work for them or their lawyers, nor do I hold their cards, and of course I don't condone their practices.)

ETA: Love your post title, S630, for it soundeth like a cue for a short Fat Poet lyric rewrite!

Kirby Scum and Lending Vultures!
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la!
Wreck consumers' money cultures!
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la!
Pressure tactics mean and rotty!
Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la!
Throw your shekels down the potty!
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la!

[Seeker630]

Deceptive? Predatory? How can they be deceptive and predatory??? Their principal spokesscum was once America's best-known fundy athlete, the Dallas Cowboys' Roger Staubach!

Well I guess that indicates what happens with the million dollar babies once they've shot their bolts, doesn't it?

Then I should warn everyone here -- stay away from Capital One and Discover credit cards. What's in your wallet? A Writ of Continuing Garnishment if you don't pay as agreed! That is, they'll sue your employer for a chunk of your paycheck!

I had a Capitol One card once. I fired the bastards. That's the one saving grace when it comes to credit cards----you can always tell them to shove it up their ass. Little story here------As I said, I had a Capitol One card at one time. I paid my bills on time and never had a problem. Until I went on a trip up to Michigan. At the time I was still paying my bills the old fashioned way. I'd get the bill, write out a paper check, and make sure I sent it out in time to get there before the due date. I always pay my bill before the due date in full every month. Postage stamp, envelope and all that.

So three years ago, I left for the trip up North. Two days after I left the Master Card bill from Capitol One arrives in the mail. I get back from the trip two days before the due date. I send in the bill and of course it didn't get there until the third day. They nicked me a $25 late fee. I fired the fuckers and haven't had a card from them since .

In fact, now, just for laughs, if I get one of their interminable mailings to apply for a new card, I use the postage-paid envelope they send you, to send to them a coupon from my junk mail for a local pizza place or something. You see if you return the envelope they provide, they eat the postage, regardless of what's in it. Eventually I'll have cost them much more than the $25 late fee they got from me.

Fuck them.

Kirby Scum and Lending Vultures!
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la!
Wreck consumers' money cultures!
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la!
Pressure tactics mean and rotty!
Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la!
Throw your shekels down the potty!
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la!

Fuck a duck that was sweet---------I laughed my ass off!

I now have automatic debit from my checking account for my one remaining credit card bill every month. It's from Chase Bank------and if I get any grief out of them I'll fire their asses too.

[Herk]

I can't fault Kirby. HFC, sure. I had a Kirby once and thought it was a great machine until I saw the Filter Queen. I dared the Filter Queen salesman to prove that it was better than the Kirby - he did. Hmmph. At least he gave me some credit when he took it off my hands.

And the Filter Queen was a tough mama. I even used it commercially to clean a restaurant for a while. Lasted many years.

These days, you get a POS Hoover or something and you're lucky if it works right out of the box. Back in the day, vacuums came with a good guarantee and they stood behind them. Within a year or two, you can't find filters for whatever you bought and have to start over again, if the wheels haven't broken off.

Most of the Kirby was made of heavy duty aluminum. The biggest flaw was the bag. But you could take it out on the lawn, turn the bag inside out, and turn it on to clean it.

Speaking of oddities, the Filter Queen had a vibrator for $14.95 that stuck on the end of the hose. Then you could wrap the hose around your neck or something and let it soothe your shoulders. Right. I still have it.

[Deacon Doubtmonger]

Originally Posted by Seeker630

Well I guess that indicates what happens with the million dollar babies once they've shot their bolts, doesn't it?

You betcha -- reminds me eerily of Fran Tarkenton shilling for Anthony Robbins and Bar None.

Originally Posted by Seeker630

I always pay my bill before the due date in full every month. Postage stamp, envelope and all that.

It's now common practice for credit card issuers to creep back the due date, hoping to create late arrivals so they can collect those fees. Also, I understand some of them are lowering credit limits as your balance goes down, hoping to drum up more overlimit fees.

[Seeker630]

Originally Posted by Deacon Doubtmonger

You betcha -- reminds me eerily of Fran Tarkenton shilling for Anthony Robbins and Bar None.


It's now common practice for credit card issuers to creep back the due date, hoping to create late arrivals so they can collect those fees. Also, I understand some of them are lowering credit limits as your balance goes down, hoping to drum up more overlimit fees.

I've been seeing articles that mention this lately. So you really have to pay attention to anything to any mailings you get from your card issuer. The only thing Chase changed on me was the grace period. When I first got the card several years ago, it was 25 days. Now it's 22.

I know a couple of people who refuse to get a credit card, and operate using only cash, checks, and a debit card. I haven't used my credit card for much since I had that problem earlier this year---someone started trying to use my card number and they had to close my account and reissue a new one with a different number on it.

[Josie]

I have to admit, we let in a Kirby salesman once.

We knew we weren't going to buy, but figured we could spare 15, 20 minutes for the guy to give his spiel. Big mistake. He was there for over 2 hours, and didn't leave until after 10:30pm. And when they are ready to leave, they have to call their team leader to pick them up, they don't have a car of their own, but are dropped off and picked up. And once the team leader gets there, he had to check to make sure that the guy had demonstrated all the different things the vacuum could do, and that he had "pulled x number of pads". ( For the demonstration, they put a pad in the vacuum, instead of the bag, and show you what the machine collected in that short use, that your crappy machine left behind, Oh, the horror, you are living in filth you never realized existed.) Yes, they have a set number of pads they are supposed to pull, and use it on your furniture, and bed.

Everything about the presentation was colored by emotional overtones. It was a younger guy, trying to work his way through school (how overdone) and I believe that there was something about a wife or girlfriend and a pregnancy or kid. Everything was set up, so that you would feel sorry for this guy, and buy from him, to help him out. They play on peoples desire to be nice, and polite, and helpful.

[LastChance_000]

When I was a kid, we had a Kirby. (I wasn't around for the sales pitch). All I know was that that was a damn tough vacuum. It worked just fine right up until I left for the Air Force.

Seeing as I've owned about 8 department store vacuums since then, I'd say my parents probably got their money's worth.

On the other hand, I have no patience or respect for the kind of underhanded sales/collections crap that's been described here. Which is why I haven't bought a Kirby.

[Herk]

All those years ago, our Kirby salesman drove a Mercedes diesel. He had a heart valve that kept ticking ominously as though he had the same malady as Captain Hook's alligator. He sold Kirbys for many years and wasn't oppressive. The Filter Queen guy, on the other hand, was a young fellow with a bit of a hard sell. But he was certainly able to show how well his product worked. I don't remember what happened with the filter queen, but it may have gone in the divorce. And that was fifteen years later.

[A Dead Relative]

I actually got tricked into applying at the local Kirby suckership (whatever the hell they call it). There was an ad in the paper, calling it something else, and after I applied, they had everyone applying go to a meeting room and they told us what we would be doing, without mentioning vacuums or Kirby, during the whole thing. I don't remember how it was I figured out it was Kirby, but when I learned of that, I headed for the door.

I think someone asked if it was Kirby, and the guy speaking was honest about it.

Shortly after that, I learned I was a horrid salesman, anyway.

[verte]

I have a Dyson.

[Seeker630]

Originally Posted by A Dead Relative

I actually got tricked into applying at the local Kirby suckership (whatever the hell they call it). There was an ad in the paper, calling it something else, and after I applied, they had everyone applying go to a meeting room and they told us what we would be doing, without mentioning vacuums or Kirby, during the whole thing. I don't remember how it was I figured out it was Kirby, but when I learned of that, I headed for the door.

I think someone asked if it was Kirby, and the guy speaking was honest about it.

Shortly after that, I learned I was a horrid salesman, anyway.

If you've ever looked into Amway, it's the same shit. They prattle on endlessly about how great it is to be a winner, make money, give up the old job, yada yada yada. I had a friend give me a couple of cassette tapes to listen to on a long drive once------during the entire hour+ of listening, not once did the word Amway come up. Kind of like being invited to a pizza party, only to find out after you get there it's an evangelical snare trap.

He knew what they really were-----he was just trying to see if I would pick up on it the same as he did.

[grumpy]

You can add Fuller Brush to that list. Is there a Fuller Brush anymore?

I went to a recruitment class once, and one of the things they said was that it was best to go to the "poor areas" of town because "those people" have less sales resistance and are easier to persuade.

[BeaverIslander]

Note that ScAmway is now Quixtar in the US, and Amway outside the US, both are owned by Alticor, the new corporate name for ScAmway. Apparently after everyone has caught on to the scam, you need to re-brand yourself to get another chance at scamming people.

[Bud]

What's a vacuum cleaner?

[Josie]

Originally Posted by Bud

What's a vacuum cleaner?

something that sits in the closet, collecting dust, until you have company coming over, and you have to look like you know how to keep a clean house.

[Seeker630]

Originally Posted by BeaverIslander

Note that ScAmway is now Quixtar in the US, and Amway outside the US, both are owned by Alticor, the new corporate name for ScAmway. Apparently after everyone has caught on to the scam, you need to re-brand yourself to get another chance at scamming people.

Actually I think the Quixtar name at first was the internet version of Amway. It must have morphed into the whole company later on. But yeah listening to those tapes------it was pretty obvious what they were selling ------even if you didn't realize it was Amway. The modus operandi fit a legalized pyramid scheme perfectly.