Catholics call time on long-winded eulogies

verte · 24-Feb-2007, 03:05 PM (15:05)

Just fyi, if you get called on to give any eulogies at a Catholic funeral in Australia, they have recently issued some new rules:

Quote:

An increase in the number of inappropriate comments at funeral masses has prompted Australia's most senior Catholic, Cardinal George Pell, to impose a five-minute deadline on eulogies and deem some areas of a person's life off limits.

Quote:

"On not a few occasions, inappropriate remarks glossing over the deceased's proclivities (drinking prowess, romantic conquests etc) or about the Church (attacking its moral teachings) have been made at funeral masses," Pell's new guidelines say.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20070223/...alia_eulogy_dc

Gurdur · 24-Feb-2007, 03:53 PM (15:53)

If they followed those rules at my funeral, they would be left with nothing whatsoever to say.

verte · 24-Feb-2007, 03:56 PM (15:56)

Sometimes those can be the best part of a funeral.

Also, it's not as if at least some of the mourners wouldn't know the person wasn't a saint. They might feel as if they wandered into the wrong funeral if it's too bland and generic.

Bud · 24-Feb-2007, 06:08 PM (18:08)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gurdur

If they followed those rules at my funeral, they would be left with nothing whatsoever to say.

I'd do a eulogy about your pipe.

Catholics have pipes.

I think.

Gurdur · 24-Feb-2007, 06:23 PM (18:23)

THank-you, Bud.

Beth · 25-Feb-2007, 02:38 AM (02:38)

I would doubt that I could do a eulogy about anyone in here. I would probably break down...

verte · 25-Feb-2007, 11:46 PM (23:46)

I would bribe everyone with chocolate to cry buckets at my funeral.

Dawn · 26-Feb-2007, 01:15 AM (01:15)

Quote:

Originally Posted by verte

I would bribe everyone with chocolate to cry buckets at my funeral.

I am already crying, Verte, just contemplating it. *sniff sniff ...peeking around edge of tissue to see if chocolate is forthcoming*

verte · 26-Feb-2007, 01:17 AM (01:17)

*drops one chocolate curl gently in front of Dawn, just to prime the pump*

Dawn · 26-Feb-2007, 01:54 AM (01:54)

Quote:

Originally Posted by verte

*drops one chocolate curl gently in front of Dawn, just to prime the pump*

*loud sobbing commences*

A Dead Relative · 26-Feb-2007, 03:37 AM (03:37)

DAMN IT! No one is allowed to die, here. Then we won't have to worry about it.

A Dead Relative has spoken!

26-Feb-2007, 01:22 PM (13:22)

Quote:

Originally Posted by A Dead Relative

DAMN IT! No one is allowed to die, here. Then we won't have to worry about it.

A Dead Relative has spoken!

Yeah, we already have one Dead Relative

sorry had to do it.

Deacon Doubtmonger · 28-Feb-2007, 02:44 AM (02:44)

Quote:

Originally Posted by verte

Sometimes those can be the best part of a funeral.

Also, it's not as if at least some of the mourners wouldn't know the person wasn't a saint. They might feel as if they wandered into the wrong funeral if it's too bland and generic.

No kidding. The church can't make someone an obedient pope-serving robot in life, so they'll "convert" him/her in death.

I don't plan on a funeral, but if I did have one, I'd insist that John Waters' early "filth" trilogy (Pink Flamingos, Female Trouble and Desperate Living) be screened.

Smilin · 28-Feb-2007, 06:08 PM (18:08)

I would insist that my funeral would include liquor, sexy french maids (hell even fairies) :eyeing Beth and Dawn:, people telling racey, inappropriate jokes...

Ya'll know...FUN STUFF!

Funerals should be a celebration of one's life INCLUDING the things that they found pleasureable in life....

Excuse me...gotta go update my will now...

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25-Feb-2007, 02:38 AM (02:38)	#6
Beth ex-title Join Date: May 2003 Posts: 3,611	I would doubt that I could do a eulogy about anyone in here. I would probably break down...
Beth ex-title Join Date: May 2003 Posts: 3,611

26-Feb-2007, 03:37 AM (03:37)	#11
A Dead Relative The Official Courier Join Date: May 2006 Location: Island of Misfit Toys Posts: 2,600	DAMN IT! No one is allowed to die, here. Then we won't have to worry about it. A Dead Relative has spoken!
	Preying on Sundaes, since 1972.

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24-Feb-2007, 03:53 PM (15:53)	#2
Gurdur Cuddly Wombat Join Date: May 2003 Location: Adminning Posts: 17,545	If they followed those rules at my funeral, they would be left with nothing whatsoever to say.

24-Feb-2007, 06:23 PM (18:23)	#5
Gurdur Cuddly Wombat Join Date: May 2003 Location: Adminning Posts: 17,545	THank-you, Bud.

28-Feb-2007, 06:08 PM (18:08)	#14
Smilin Would-be pevert, but still a lot of catching up with Master Taran to do yet Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Middle Tennessee Posts: 1,648	I would insist that my funeral would include liquor, sexy french maids (hell even fairies) :eyeing Beth and Dawn:, people telling racey, inappropriate jokes... Ya'll know...FUN STUFF! Funerals should be a celebration of one's life INCLUDING the things that they found pleasureable in life.... Excuse me...gotta go update my will now...